Diners
who ask for a restaurant's wine list tend to fall
into two groups: those who know what they're after
and will be disappointed if they don't find it, and
those who accept the carte des vins
gingerly, as though it might ignite in their hands.
If you're in the latter camp, your aim is probably
just to find a tasty, affordable bottle to enhance
your meal. Here are some basic principles that will
increase your odds of achieving your objective
without losing your shirt.
AVOID THE CHEAPEST AND THE MOST EXPENSIVE
WINES: Most restaurants calculate a minimum price
for simply handling a bottle: for storing it, for
rooting around in the bin to find it, for opening
and for serving it--one hopes at the proper
temperature and in suitable glassware. In a low-end
eatery, this overhead cost may be as little as $5,
while in a ritzier spot it may be $15 or $20.
Markups tend to be figured on a sliding scale:
higher for inexpensive items, and lower for pricier
wines. A wine listed for $20 may have been purchased
wholesale for $4, while one selling for $45 might
have cost the restaurant $18. As a general rule, you
don't want the $4 bottle, especially if it has been
marked up 500%. At the top end, wine-savvy diners
can often find relative bargains, although many
restaurants apply breathtaking markups to the most
widely prized prestige wines and scarce items. If
you don't know roughly what these wines should cost,
proceed with extreme caution.
LOOK FOR OFF-THE-BEATEN-TRACK AREAS THAT ARE
WELL-REPRESENTED: Most wine lists in America are
heavy on California, France's snob areas like
Bordeaux and Burgundy, and the more famous wines of
Italy (Chianti, Barolo and the like). If your
carte des vins offers multiple selections from a
region such as Alsace, the Loire Valley, South
Africa or Washington State, chances are that there
is someone on the premises who genuinely appreciates
these wines and would like you to enjoy them as
well. Their prominent position on the wine list is a
message that the restaurant managers feel these
wines go well with the house cuisine.
DON'T GET HUNG UP ON VINTAGE CHARTS: Most vintage
charts give only a rudimentary overview of how a
broadly defined region performed in a given year.
The producer's name on the label is easily as
important an indicator of quality as the vintage or
the specific vineyard the wine is from. The most
talented growers and winemakers manage to make very
good wine in average years, while underachievers
will make mediocre juice even under ideal
conditions. On the other hand, if you're in a
restaurant that lists its wines without showing
their vintage, it's a good bet that the management
is heedlessly buying the same uninspiring items year
after year. In this case, I'd recommend finding out
the year and then consulting your vintage chart--to
know which years to avoid.
WHEN IN DOUBT, ASK: My own exhaustive research
reveals that at least three out of four sommeliers
genuinely enjoy wine. They frequently buy what they
like, and they want you to share their enthusiasm.
Besides, it's in their financial interest for you to
relish the wines they choose for you. If you're at
your wit's end decoding the wine list, summon the
wine person (sommelier, wine buyer, beverage
manager), explain roughly what you're after (for
example an inexpensive red wine with fresh fruit
flavors and soft tannins) and what dishes you plan
to order, and leave it to the pro.